Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Is it gay for a man to tell a woman her shoes don't go w/her outfit?

Situation:

the perp is sporting a super casual flippy w/a clippy do, j.lo shades and an oatmeal off the shoulder, super-cowl neck sweater w/the side load 3 button lapel.........defiled by the ultra-cliche gold sequin inital placed right bodice........and the shoes are a really bad knock off of a sweet pair of pink strappy pinch toe manolo blahnik's w/a rhinestone butterfly at the ankles which the wearer currently has above her ears like bugs fucking bunny while taking it like a champ all the while not taking her eyes of her shoes............?


Analysis:

yes, it would be super-gay and really stupid to tell her about the bad shoe/outfit combo.........at least until after i've come..........and wiped it clean on the bad mudd copy jeans she bought at target and that are so tight she had to cut the inside of the pockets out so the low rise wouldn't roll her buddha and her saddle bags wouldn't fuck up her "redneck line" as it moves toward the oh-so-want-to-be-but-can't-quite-pull-it-off boot cut bell w/the "rebel split" at the hem...............only on the outside of course!!!!!!!!!

telling a woman her shoes don't go w/her outfit could be construed as gay.........i guess...........but for me, it's really a way to say "you stupid lemming bitch! i so don't care if i ever fuck you/fuck you again/again soon! so much so that i will tell you to your face that you look like shit and we are all laughing at you and i hope it bothers you for days.......kindof like that yeast infection i helped you culture a week and half ago that you say still itches! take your junk-ass-wannabe-bought-from-a-friend-of-a-friend-who-can-steal-you-what-ever-you-put-a-request-in-for-and-sells-it-to-you-at-less-than-half-price knockoff self back to the house.........your couch misses your ass. smoke a big fatty from the quarter you bought from your friend at hastings, eat the half gallon of ice cream left in your freezer and do your mountain of dirty dishes............all right after you feed those nasty shoes to your neighbors pit bull.............cause they don't match your outfit!!!!!!!


Thursday, December 30, 2004

Ode de Vuelta Lagarto

There once was a Lizard who's nuts were in a twist
He would wind them to a knot with both of his fist

Why oh why would such a feat have a need
Surly the boys are no longer pumping seed

All who see the act stare in dismay
Did this happen during a bad lay?

The curious brave, give a turn in the shower
Only realize to late, to use very little power

He stretches and stretches to make the bat wing
We all yell ,back in your pants with that silly thing.

by Marty McDowell


get 'em out...........twist 'em up!!!

Test

Test, test, test ... One two three four ...

Testes testes. Watch me twist my testes.

Brrrhrhrhrhrrrrr ...